Where to start? There’s SO much to heal. There’s a pile of failures and guilt and pain and health problems and wrong choices and it feels like a pile so big, I can’t breathe. Let alone figure out where to start.
And I’m scared. If I pull one string out of this ball of twisted, knotted, wound up crap, it’ll suffocate me and I’ll die.
I can’t tell you how long I felt that way and proceeded to design my entire life around keeping that pile intact while gasping for short, shallow breaths so as not to topple the house of cards.
Sound familiar?
When I thought about ALL that needed to be released, healed, and returned to love. I was so overwhelmed, it froze me.
It was creativity that became my safe house. It taught me that I could crawl out from under the pile, practice taking long deep breaths that connects me to live in the moment, and then safely show me how to release one false belief, one error though, one pattern at a time.
And holy crap on a cracker, what a difference it makes! My one and only regret, and I’ve made peace with it :), is that I didn’t let creativity in sooner. She’d been knocking on my door for years. I didn’t answer. I was too scared.
Now, in hindsight, she was the very thing I’d been asking for in order to untangle my fears, worries, addictions, and pain. She taught me how to turn all that into creativity.
Here’s the thing…with each release, with each return of fear, FREEDOM takes its place.
Freedom is your truth. Fear is the siphon. Fear coerces us to give it our energy leaving us shackled, exhausted, and definitely NOT free.
When we give our precious energy to fear, it remains active. When we withdraw our energy from fear, it dissipates.
While it’s that simple, it isn’t always easy. Trust me, I get it. Fear is cunning, enticing, and seductive.
To make matters worse, fear is what we know. And we always feel ‘safer’ with what we know. However false that may be.
Fears ONLY life force is our energy. The only way fear stays afloat is via the energy and attention I give it.
Here’s the deal about creativity, she knows how to outsmart fear.
Back to the original question, “Where do I start?”
There is no other place to begin other than where you are, and it’s important to know this…
Fear would have you looking several steps ahead of where you are, which is a setup for:
1) royally tripping over ourselves, and 2) confirming our worst fear that we’re a loser, fuck-up who can’t get anything right. Again.
That’s a perfect recipe for retreating back from whence we came.
It takes a conscious choice to start right here, right now, exactly where you are. Start with one breath at a time. One step at a time. One thread (of the tangled, messy pile) at a time.
If you feel like you’re suffocating. Take a breath, and celebrate that you’re ok having made that choice.
Ultimately, you’ll want to step out from under the pile, all the while breathing, and simply stand beside it.
Acknowledge the pile, it’s not going anywhere (just yet), and claim that you are on your two feet right where you are.
And nothing bad has happened.
The coolest thing ever…there are usually just a few threads that unravel the whole darn thing. You’ll soon realize that you don’t have to untangle and heal every single freaking thread, which is the part that seems impossible and overwhelming. Just a few threads get it done.
If that’s where you are, that’s where you are. Period. That’s where every single one of us starts…
- notice the pile and suffocation
- decide to step away from the pile and not BE the pile
- simply stand there planting your feet firmly while breathing
- then you get to dissolve one thread of fear at a time, safely
- pretty soon, you’ll feel freedom (which includes a sense of safety, life force, and divinity) filing in all those places inside you that fear was living rent-free
- now it’s YOUR game, you and Source are at the helm, charting the course, and enjoying the journey. As Love.
I promise you won’t die. You’ll liberate yourself into your life. Taking this journey via the creative process turns it from a frozen, serious, frightening, impossibility, to a safe, moving, colorful, playful, dance of freedom.
Answer the door, she’s knocking on your door! You’re welcome to a complimentary e-book on